R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She needs sedatives and a leash
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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