I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You are a genius and a whore.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
