I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
