i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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