now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
All I want is dick and wine.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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