Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
