I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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