I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
