covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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