nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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