we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
