She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
