david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
God, I missed his penis.
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