just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
