So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
