I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
