She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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