Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
