So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
