Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
