Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
