Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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