I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
