what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
