walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
