Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
