party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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