We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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