just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
