Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
