Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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