yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
