you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
