At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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