So drunk its hurt
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
