I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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