He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
