Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
