So drunk its hurt
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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