Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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