Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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