i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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