I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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