he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
