It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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