my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
