If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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