I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
