Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
