I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
