Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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