And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize