we made out on top of his cat.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You pole danced in your parka.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So much Jack, so little girl.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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