Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize
