We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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