White coat. Heels.
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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