my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
