Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Even the bartender felt bad for me
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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